Every year I sit here trying to figure out what to share about getting another year older… I’m not much into my birthday, to be honest. I don’t like being the center of attention and I’m a big believer in age is just a number. But over the past few years, I find my birthday to be a time for reflection. Last year’s birthday I got real and shared about my broken heart as it was one of the most painful birthdays of my life. But that didn’t go over well, and instead of being able to focus on self-care – I had to cater to everyone else’s needs from me…

This year isn’t anywhere near as devastating as last year, but I’m still feeling rather “meh” about it. There are so many goals I had hoped would be achieved by this point in my life (have at least 1 or 2 kids, a stable income, be fully developed in my identity, etc) and I don’t feel like I’ve reached them. I keep reminding myself that over a year ago I surrendered my life to God’s will for it. I’ve been following His call and moving in areas I never had a desire or intention to move. So perhaps my goals are delayed at this point because His goals for me are different and He’s making room for me to focus my attention elsewhere. And while I’m happy to do what He asks of me… releasing my own desires and goals for my life still bothers me, particularly right now.

Let’s get out of that mindset though and focus on the accomplishments I do have…

I’ve learned who I can count on
You know, everything we’ve been through… we’ve really learned who our true friends are – even among more recent friendships. I’ve always been a big advocate for quality over quantity and with each passing year I realize more and more how true that is. My close friend group is honestly quite small and I’m incredibly happy about that. I don’t need a lot of people around me telling me how great I am. Instead, I love my friends who are my family – the people who really care about me, what I’m feeling, and what I’m going through. The ones who listen, allow me to feel, sit with me through the heartache, and lift me up. I’m grateful to everyone in my friend family group – you know who you are!

I’ve managed to stay in business for 8 years
Did you know that 65% of people who purchase a DLSR camera decide to go into business? After one year of business, 50% of photographers throw in the towel, and within the first three years of business, photography has a staggering 85% turnover rate. The fact that I’m 5 years past that mark and still working (although not as much as I really need right now) is an amazing accomplishment. Even more significant is that I’m making a profit doing it as well. So many photographers invest a ton of money into their business, charge very little, and then don’t end up actually making a profit. In fact, many are losing money simply because they don’t know how to run a business. So I’m quite proud of the fact that Green Tree Media has survived this long.

I’m down 29 pounds and feeling better than I have in years
At the beginning of the year, I was desperate for a change. The medication I was on made me sick all the time and I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I started Plexus. This was the best decision I ever made! It’s not a quick fix thing but rather a tool to help get your body back in line. Over the course of the past seven months, I’ve gotten off all my medication, my digestive track is working much better, and in the past 70 days I’ve lost 29 pounds! I still have a long way to go, but I feel better than I have in a long time! I’m so grateful for what Plexus has done to help me get there! Only 9 more pounds to reach my first goal of 2-3 goal weights 😉

I have a few powerful (for me) personal projects going
I feel blessed to have found my voice over the past few years. Combining that with my art has enabled me to create and connect with others in a totally different way and I love it! I currently am still working on three fine art series: the beginnings of an angel series, The Your Story Project and what I’m now calling Facets, my self-portrait series. I would still love to work with people on the Your Story Project – so if you’re interested please contact me! I’m also still in the midst of writing my book. It got put on the back burner for a while now but I’m excited to see where it will go and what might happen with it as well.

I’m blessed to have the most amazing husband ever
Not everyone is as lucky as I am to have such an amazing, supportive, loving, generous, kind, and protective husband. I honestly don’t know if I could have handled our house fire, infertility, adoption, and everything else we’ve been through without this wonderful man by my side. He is always so loving and encouraging to me – which is something I definitely need. And I look forward to the day I get to watch him play and snuggle and raise our children… because God gave Him such a special gift with children!

I’ve learned what I need to care for myself
It took me a long time to learn what I needed to be healthy and happy and to heal. But over the past couple years, I’ve really had to get better with it. Going through fertility treatments and being put on medicines that my body didn’t agree with meant that I needed to learn how to treat myself with kindness. It’s easy in the business of life to put our own needs aside in order to achieve more or care for others. But I’ve slowly been learning how to take care of my needs too. Allowing myself to feel, giving myself time to recover between social gatherings, not beating myself up if I’m different from others, expressing myself in art and writing. I have to tell you – there’s nothing quite like understanding yourself and knowing how to care for your own needs.

My relationship with God has grown immensely
I know I’ve talked about this before on here, but over the past few years, my relationship with God has completely changed. I always believed in God and I always tried to be a good Christian but I used to believe God was distant and far from us. Now I realize that isn’t true. God is here with us and He wants to have a deeply personal relationship with us. I find myself relying on Him more and more and trying to follow His call for my life… even when it’s not what I want. And honestly, my life is better for it. He is a good father and I know He always has my best interest at heart.

So there are seven accomplishments I have made… even if I feel I’m falling short of my mark. I certainly hope that thirty-one (my golden birthday) is a year full of wonderful things. Things I may have never imagined even. Most of all, I hope it’s the year we finally get to become parents after all our struggles and our long, long wait.

Just a last little peek of some pictures we took of me for my birthday this year 🙂