Ryan, my hubby, and I spend a lot of time talking. We tend to be thinkers and can often end up in these long conversations about the most random things. Lately, we’ve been talking a lot about leaders or bosses and what makes a good one. I think we’ve all experienced a bad boss or two in our time. We develop our own ideas on what they should or shouldn’t be doing. Though I’m not really a boss, in the few little areas that I find myself being a leader I do everything I can to take care of the people around me and let them know they are valued. Anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to look into it a little bit and put together a journal entry focusing on what makes a good leader.

I actually read an article recently that focused on leadership from a psychological standpoint and why it is that we humans want a leader. Working in teams does not come naturally to us, so leaders help guide us in that as well as managing tensions or issues that might arise between individuals. And of course, many leaders are the ones charged with making decisions. This often demands that leaders have a certain degree of expertise that their fellow coworkers do not share.

Now let’s talk about what we often see in our leaders. I read a book by the brilliant Susan Cain entitled Quiet. It was an awesome piece of nonfiction about introverts and the undervaluing of the introverted in society. At one point she discusses how some of the universities most prized for creating exceptional leaders and business people, push the mentality of “Speak loud and often. Even if you don’t know what you’re talking about – act like you do.” Unfortunately, this mentality does tend to work in getting these people into leadership positions even though they often are not qualified or equipped with the skills needed to hold their position.

You could lump this in with the concept of charisma, which people unwisely tend to prefer in their leaders. Just look at politicians, dictators, & well-known CEOs and you’ll see a beautiful picture of charismatic leaders. It’s unfortunate that this mentality does seem to work. More often than not companies overlook the quiet, observant, and intelligent ones and instead choose those who speak the loudest and with the most confidence. The article I was reading stated that “Charisma can be a poor yet compelling stand-in for leadership ability. In fact, that quality is often associated with narcissism, a trait that researchers defined as “encompassing grandiosity, arrogance, self-absorption, entitlement, fragile self-esteem, and hostility,” and found disproportionately among leaders.” Sadly, all too often disagreeable people—those who are more likely to be self-centered, confrontational, and antisocial—have a higher probability of becoming leaders. More agreeable people—who are empathetic, altruistic, and sociable—tend to make better leaders, but are less frequently chosen to lead.

So what does make a good leader? Yay! Let’s talk about positive stuff. So good leaders tend to share similar psychological characteristics. They’re competent and have good judgment, integrity, and vision. They’re highly self-aware, which helps them understand how others see them and improve based on feedback, especially from their subordinates. They also work well with their employees. They value their team and try to make certain their employees feel appreciated. They also monitor employees satisfaction and strive to make certain their coworkers feel engaged in their job. Soft skills, people skills, compassion, empathy, communication – these are actually far more important than what is often considered “leader-like” qualities. And the lack of leaders possessing these qualities is a huge disadvantage for companies, employees, organizations and volunteers across our nation.

So final thoughts… If you find yourself in a leadership role, I would encourage you to consider the honor and privilege of your position. Remember that you are only as strong as your team, and if your team is overworked and undervalued – you are causing seriously more harm than good not just for your employees but for yourself and the company as well. Pay attention to the people who are working for you, they deserve your interest, compassion, and care. Remember – the best bosses, the ones who are remembered fondly, are those who feel valued, well-treated, engaged, and cared for.