So I’m going to be honest and just admit that I didn’t have a blog post ready for today. I got swept up in other writing projects. (I know, I know – I am truly sorry.) But I was going through old posts I hadn’t shared yet and came across this one. I wrote this quite a long while ago, but I still like the imagery in it and it still makes me feel something. So here you go – some words by me 😉

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Do you ever have a day where you’re just in a funk?
Where something someone said the day before just sticks with you
and it keeps rubbing at you, making you feel irritated and raw?
And in the midst of dealing with this irritation,
all the things that they’ve said to you in the past
and the way that they treated you come to mind.
Old woulds re-opened, making the raw feeling worse.
Leaving you feeling flawed, broken, and unacceptable.

And you can’t help but wonder why you still feel so loyal to this person.
Why you take the verbal hits that cut you to your core.
The invisible beating… the abuse that leaves no marks…
They let fly their hurtful words,
carefully chosen words meant to sting and hurt.
But you don’t speak up, and you don’t lash out.
You just take them with a silent smile,
while inside your pain and anger are stirred up like a stormy sea.

… It takes time to calm those waves.
And even more time to undo the damage caused by the storm.
If the damage can even be undone.
Because over the years if the same damage is being inflicted
again
and again
and again.
Eventually the damage is never truly mended.

But when do you let go?
When it’s someone close to you,
how do you let go?
… Should you?
… Can you?

Because those doubts creep in
and you begin to question everything you are
and everything you thought you knew.
How do you know…
for sure…
that they are the one in the wrong?
And that you aren’t the problem they’ve been claiming all along?