I’ve thought about writing a post about this for some time and just hadn’t gotten around to it. But as we’re approaching our September wedding I thought this would be a good time to finally put together this blog post about wedding guest etiquette.

At this point in my career I’ve been to and worked my fair share of weddings, and I’ve seen and experienced a wide variety of things. On more than one occasion I’ve run into overly excited guests who’ve caused one (or more) issues below. I understand how exciting and fun photography is and the joy that can be found in helping a friend capture their special day! I truly do! But I also understand that the camera enthusiast might not understand the hired professional’s perspective… thus the reason for this post.

Now let me preface this by saying – I’m not mad at anyone or calling anyone out for things they have done. And if you’ve been guilty of one or more of these things don’t fret! But now you know – so you can’t say you don’t. And I’ll be the first to admit – when I’m a wedding guest I make sure to abide by these rules too! I’m not saying you can’t use your nice camera and I’m not telling you that you can’t take pictures. Just try to be mindful of the hired professional and not interfere – after all, the professional photographer has been paid a lot of money to capture the happy couples day.

So here are just a few do’s and don’ts as a wedding guest regarding taking pictures and interacting with the wedding photographer.

Aisle Duckers – These are the guests who duck out into the aisle as the bride (or bridal party) are walking down the aisle. I understand that you are just trying to quickly get your shot, but as the bride is walking down the aisle the only people who should be in the aisle are the bride, her father, and me. It’s my job to capture that look of joy on her face as she’s walking towards the love her life. If I’ve got guests ducking out into the aisle to ‘snap a quick pic’  it hinders my ability to capture that special moment for her. So please – if you’re going to photograph the bride processing in – do it from your seat.

Flash Photographers – I’m not a huge fan of flash in general as I much prefer natural light, but there are definitely situations where it’s necessary such as dimly lit reception halls. Long story short – when you use your camera’s flash it ruins the professionals photos. All it takes is for the perfect moment to arise and for you to flash off a shot at the same time we do. With my camera set to be properly exposed for my flash – the extra light from your flash will over-expose my photo and ruin what could have been a great shot. So help the pro not miss out on those special moments by avoiding using your flash as much as possible.

Look Over Here – In addition to flash ruining moments, wedding guests who call the bride and groom to look at them on the dance floor, during the cake cutting, etc kill those intimate moments. I totally understand that you want to get a photo and I by no means want to stop you from getting one, but when you say, “Look over here!” – you’re pulling them out of their moment so that you can have your photo – it becomes about you and not them. I always try to be mindful of wedding guests with cameras too and I will often make sure to have the couple pause for a moment before cutting the cake or tossing the bouquet so you can get your shot. My main point is – please don’t call their attention away from each other or their moments but capture them IN the moment instead.

Shop Talkers – There seems to be at least one guest at every wedding who is super excited about photography! And believe me – I understand that excitement! But when I’m at a wedding – I’m working. I don’t have time to stop and help you figure out why your pictures are coming out blurry or how to fix the shutter speed on your camera. I love talking about cameras and photography as much as the next photography enthusiast, but there is so much to keep track of on a wedding day. I can’t be distracted by a guests photo-related questions when there is a very important event coming up that I need to be ready for.

Over the Shoulder Shooters – More than once I’ve been working a wedding and turned to get a lens out of my bag and literally bonked my head on a guest’s lens as they hovered over my shoulder to take their photo the same time I did. I’ll be honest – this is incredibly distracting and very frustrating! What’s worse is when these guests try to direct the bridal party! As mentioned before I’m being paid a lot of money by the bride and groom to take amazing photos for them. Having someone over my shoulder while I’m trying to work is not only distracting but rude. It’s also technically a copyright infringement and can cause all kinds of problems. And when these guests start trying to direct the group or bridal party – it creates confusion as to who they should be looking at for these photos. We’ve run into enough problems with these guests that we actually have it written into our contracts that no guests are allowed to take photos while we are doing formals so as to avoid this confusion and frustration. We’ve found it creates for a more stress-free environment for our brides and grooms and helps guests to enjoy the day rather than feeling the need to constantly document it. After all, that’s what we are being paid to be there for!

Who’s the Boss – I would think this one is self-explanatory but just in case… at the end of the day, the bride is my boss! We may have covered 100 different ideas for what she wants to photograph on her wedding day, but when the day arrives if she changes her mind I’m going to follow her direction. Granted if mom and dad are paying for the wedding and want a couple shots – we will definitely work them in. But ultimately the Bride gets to call the shots.

So there you have it… Just a few tips for being an exceptional wedding guest. Again my goal is not to point fingers at anyone or to make anyone feel bad. My hope is simply to give you some insight into what we are dealing with on a wedding day and what our goals and perspectives are. So hopefully you found this at least a little informative and insightful. Wedding photography is a big job and with the rise of digital cameras (and camera phones) it seems everywhere you look there’s a camera. So my hope is that these tips will help you to still have fun taking photos on the wedding day without interfering with the hired professional.

I hope you all are having a  magnificent Monday and I’ll see you again on Wednesday!

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