Sometimes I have days where I find myself exceedingly aware of my body. Like I’ll wake up being really aware of my teeth – how big they are, how they rest against one another when my mouth is closed, where they don’t line up, they may ache some or feel off though I don’t know why and there’s no real reason for it. Or I may be incredibly conscious of my knees… the way they bend, what position they rest in when stretched out in front of me, how rolling my ankles to the side can make their position shift. Or my hair, how it may seem dry or fuzzy and how odd that we place so much emphasis and time on this stringy stuff that grows from our heads…

I wonder if this is what it means to get older. When you’re a kid you feel invincible. The thought of your own demise seems so far from your mind. You’re fit and healthy. You’re not worrying about broken bones or scraped knees – you’re just out there living and soaking it up. But as you grow up, your body continually gets put through the wringer – maybe you were an athlete or you had a lot of fun in college or maybe you had an eating disorder or just all around abused your body. Those experiences those “wounds” take their toll and over time you feel them more and more.

The runner has shin splints and bad knees. The party-going college kid becomes the adult with liver issues and poor health. The girl with the eating disorder has her own health concerns, including her inability to conceive. And the one with the scars…. well she’s got pains too. But even the unexciting kid – the one who stayed home and kept his nose clean – he feels it too. We all age and grow old. There is no escape.

With each passing day, month, year, I become increasingly more aware of how fragile my body is. I think we all do… And so, it seems, we begin to seek out new ways to preserve this shell. To nurture it and keep it safe. Because in the end – this is all we have… it is our home – our refuge. If we don’t care for it, where else will our souls dwell?