Last Saturday, October 10 was officially the four year anniversary of the Great Kirksville Fire of 2011. In spite of the passage of time, I still remember it all very clearly. It was 4:00 am. Ryan and I were asleep in bed. I woke up a little to what I thought was someone in our house going through our things. But I realized with a start that it was actually the sound of breaking glass. I sat up and saw the smoke and the glowing, flickering light under the crack of our bedroom door. I apparently hit Ryan – waking him up. We grabbed our glasses and phones. Kit was cowering in the back of his room, hiding from the smoke. Ryan went and grabbed him and we made for the front door. By the time we had the clarity of mind to think about going back for anything it was already too late… thick black smoke bellowed out the front door. Our home and everything in it was going up in flames in front of our eyes. We huddled in the back corner of our yard and waited for the fire department to show up, already knowing that it would be too late.

Our neighbors were nice enough to take us in during those cold early morning hours while we waited for the remains of the fire to be put out. We realized, we were going to have let people know what happened. Ryan called in to work to tell them he wasn’t going to make it. I called my parents to see if they could bring us the spare set of keys for my car since both our car keys were somewhere amidst the debris. Ryan stayed with the firemen for at least an hour digging through the ash trying to find his truck keys… or really anything of value. The charred remains of my camera, hard drive, and computer were dug out and set on the lawn…

I left with my parents who took me into Decatur. They helped me get some of the essentials… some clothes, underwear, tooth brushes, dog food, deodorant, etc… I never realized how much we used in a given day until it was all gone. There were so many phone calls to make. I had to call clients to reschedule consultations and viewings and even sessions until my equipment could be replaced. And as I let the water wash over me in my parents shower later that day – I watched a grey swirl of water run off my skin and down the drain.

We stayed with our friend, Matt, in Sullivan for the first two months. In between all the insurance work, replacing lost driver’s licenses, social security cards, checks, credit and debit cards, I would sneak out to the house and sift through piles of soot and ash just hoping to find some lost treasure that could be restored. Hope was always there, though I never really found anything.

Looking back at all we’ve been through and all we’ve been going through to grow our family – I am reminded of how hope has always been a huge part of our life. That dance between mourning what was lost and hoping for what is yet to be. I’m also reminded of how very blessed Ryan and I are to have all of you in our lives. Then… Now… You have always had our backs and we can’t think you enough for that. We are so grateful for each and everyone of you and the part of you had in our lives.

Here’s a little peek at the video I put together a couple years ago too.