It’s been five years since one of the most impactful events to our lives, a day I think I will remember with clarity until the day I die. It was 4:00 in the morning. Both Ryan and I were sound asleep. I was still half asleep when I heard what sounded like breaking glass. I thought I was dreaming and that someone was breaking into our house until I sat up and saw the smoke and the glowing, flickering light under the crack of our bedroom door. I woke Ryan and we grabbed our glasses, phones, and the dog and made it out the front door as quickly as possible. It was a whirl of panic that got us moving and out the front door. By the time we had the clarity of mind to think about going back for anything it was already too late… thick, black smoke billowed out the front door. Our home and everything in it was going up in flames in front of our eyes. We huddled in the back corner of our yard and waited for the fire department to show up, already knowing it would be too late.

I could tell you everything I remember about that day and the weeks that follow… in fact, I’ve recapped it many times before (just search “house fire” on here and you’ll find them all). But I’d rather talk about a different perspective of the event. Because sure – this was a hard and shocking event in our life. But there was a lot of good that came because of it too. I think it’s really easy to look at a situation and see the bad… I mean really easy. Especially if you’re naturally pessimistic… which if I’m honest, I am. And I’ve always been that way. For as long as I can remember I’m more inclined towards negativity and depression… it’s an inward negativity, mind you! It’s always directed at myself or within myself and not a negativity towards others. So I work pretty hard to make sure my brain focuses on the positives because it’s much healthier for my mind and soul if I try to eliminate as much negative as possible.

Of course, my negative mind can list off all the horrible things about this event…
– We lost our first home
– I lost all my love letters from Ryan
– My favorite stuffed toy from my Grandpa Karl was reduced to ash
– So many little keepsakes and cherished mementos just ceased to exist
– We were homeless for almost a whole year
– We had just invested $10,000 into repairing our basement which was completed days before the fire
– I lost all my photography gear and equipment

Honestly, I could go on and on. But instead let’s talk about all those silver lining moments

Obviously, the biggest positive from the whole thing was living. I mean, really, we were and are lucky to be alive. The first started while we were in bed. If I hadn’t woken up… we definitely would have died. And not only did we get out alive, but we didn’t need oxygen after due to smoke inhalation (though we both did blow black snot from our noses for a few days). Plus… we also got our dog out alive, who was terrified and hiding in his room. Being alive… that was a pretty big miracle all on its own.

The second obvious plus was having a brand new home. We got to rebuild on exactly the same spot. A house that we slowly realized was becoming a money pit, disappeared and in its place was a new home where we would have much fewer problems. A home we got to design… something not many people our age get to say. No, it’s not our dream home by any means, but it’s a beautiful home and I still often wake up in disbelief that we get to live here.

We got a stronger sense of who we could count on. We had so many friends and family who generously gave of their time and support and even their finances to help get us back on our feet. We had places to stay while our home was being rebuilt. I had clients who were understanding of the momentary delays in product delivery as I replaced my things. We had friends do a fundraiser at Richland, and people bring us things to help tide us over until we got our insurance money.

In spite of everything that had happened… I somehow remained fairly calm. I kept waiting to fall apart, but it never really happened. It could be because there was just so much to do. I was still working and I had insurance paperwork to get done on top of that, cataloging every item that was lost in the fire. But I believe that it was because of all the people praying for us. Because I don’t like change… last minute changes often result in anxiety issues… but we never really saw that happen and so for me – prayer is the only explanation.

And you know, I feel like God had a pretty strong hand in all of this. No… I don’t think he’s the reason for the fire, but I do think he was watching over us through it all. Because at that point in my life, I was a pretty heavy sleeper according to my husband, and there’s no logical reason for me to have been awoken by that breaking glass. We escaped with our dog and had very little smoke inhalation though moments later smoke was billowing out the front door. The fire resulted in some financial alleviation because we now didn’t have to worry about a gazillion repairs on our old home and we were able to use some of the insurance money to purchase a better car and pay off debt. And all of this… all of it happened before kids. Because truthfully I cannot imagine how much more difficult it all would have been had we been successful in conceiving a child right away.

So here we are, five years later, in our new home exactly where our old home stood. We haven’t had to change much since then. A new coat of paint in the nursery is really the only change besides updated furniture. We do have plans to update our place… landscaping, a patio, doing work in the basement. But other things (our adoption) have taken financial priority for now. And that’s okay by us. Because in the end, yes it’s our home.. but it’s really just a thing. And things… things don’t last forever.