I’ve been painting a lot lately… which is a totally new and different territory for me. And aside from watching the occasional Bob Ross program on TV as a kid, I’ve never taken a class or had any training of any kind. I’ve always been the kind of person who wants to do things the right way, and who wants to do them perfectly.

I used to draw all the time, pencil and colored pencil was my idea of the perfect medium because it could be erased. Accidents could easily be fixed. Paint is a little hard to do that with. There is no erasing mistakes. You can paint over them or accept them and move forward. But it feels like a much more permanent and unforgiving medium to me. Which for the perfectionist in me is slightly terrifying.

But I’m trying to embrace new creative outlets and allow things to unfold. It’s been really interesting because when I start, I don’t usually know what my objective is… What I mean is I don’t usually go into the painting knowing if it’s going to be a forest or flowers or abstract or what. I’m simply letting my mood, hands, colors, etc guide me. And as the painting progresses it becomes more and more clear to me what it’s meant to be.

Which also feels insanely weird to say because I used to really dislike when people would say – “Oh. it just sort of comes to me.” or “the canvas speaks to me.” …I think I didn’t like it because it was something I didn’t really understand. In the past, I always felt like I had to work really hard to be creative or artistically inclined. But I realize now I didn’t really have to work that hard. My problem was that perfectionism, that need for my artwork to look REAL. Anything less than perfect realism showed a lack of artistic talent on my part… At least that’s what the old me thought.

Nowadays – I’m working on letting go of that perfectionistic tendency. I’m trying to embrace my own imperfections and allow those to shine through in my art… in any form. And painting has been a great way for me to relax back on those reins of control a little bit. When I’m painting I just let things happen. And since I don’t really know what I’m doing it’s easier to let go of that need for it to be perfect and just try things and see what happens. I’m discovering how crazy good this release of creative spontaneity is for my heart and my soul, and it’s allowed me to open up and be more accepting of who I am, my perfect imperfections in myself, my life and my art.

I wish you a wonderfully creative and fulfilling day! See you soon!