I was having a really wonderful conversation recently with a friend and fellow photographer. We started discussing how often we hear about the importance of being authentic in our businesses. It seems like everywhere you turn there is some business or marketing guru preaching the significance of authenticity. And often the people who are preaching this message share some level of personal stuff with their customers – some degree of transparency into their life. And the question came up of what it means to truly be authentic… because I’ll be honest – my authentic self is not the same as some of my friends’ authentic selves. So let’s talk about why!

So let’s start with me – if you’ve been here a while you know that I’m pretty open about my personal life. I’ve shared the heartaches of our road to grow our family. I’ve shared some insights into my own thoughts and struggles. I’ve discussed my difficulties with my weight and even a little about my mental health. I’ve been pretty raw and real with you guys here…. which has been insanely hard for me because I tend to be a pretty private person. I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like talking about myself. Heck – I don’t even like celebrating my birthday because it’s too much attention on me. BUT… being real and honest and talking about big stuff – stuff that matters – that is ABSOLUTELY who I am! That’s always been who I am. (Just usually not in a such a public format haha.) Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ve shared everything here. Oh my gosh! If I wrote down every little thought that crossed my mind – you guys would think I’m nuts! And maybe I am a little bit haha. But the point is – you’re still only seeing a part of the whole. You only have a fraction of the picture of who I am. And that’s okay too.

Now let’s talk about one of my dearest friends and fellow photographer, Sarah. Sarah is awesome at what she does! In fact, we have some similarities in what we specialize in and our styles. BUT – we are VERY different people and we approach our businesses in very different ways. Sarah is ALL business. She’s super driven and highly motivated and this photography gig – it’s been her dream job for YEARS! So she’s all in! Like all in BIG! And that means she’s very professional and focused when she works with her clients, which is awesome! In contrast – I feel that I’m more relational. I’m making connections with my clients and building relationships first – the business is secondary.

So how does this relate to authenticity? Okay – so I’m building relationships and connections in my business – and that’s a two-way street. I can’t expect you to share who you are with me if I’m unwilling to share who I am with you. (I mean, that’s just relationships 101.) So for me to be authentic in my business requires me to be authentic in who I am. So I get real and share with you guys. But for Sarah – that wouldn’t be authentic at all. Sarah is very professional and business-minded. So it makes more sense for her business to look that way too. If she constantly shared intimate details of her life and her heart on her business page – there would be a disconnect between who she is and what her business represents. Has she shared bits of her personal life – absolutely! But it’s a much smaller fraction of her business and web presence. And that’s how she stays true to her authentic self within her business.

If you look up Authentic in the Miriam-Webster dictionary, here is what you find:

Authenticity is being true to one’s own personality, spirit or character; not false or imitation. Guys… you have to be you! If who you are is more private and professional – that’s perfect! Be that! Own it! Embrace it! Because that’s who you are and it’s awesome! For real – Sarah is a rock star in her business AND a beautiful person – and she’s staying true to who she is in how she runs her business. She’s not trying to be me and I’m not trying to be her. And we’re both being authentic – even though that looks very different for both of us.

So here’s my point… Authenticity is different for everyone. I think some people have started to feel like in order to be authentic you have to be out there – sharing real, raw details of your life and beliefs. But that is so far from the truth! There is no formula. There is no “right way” to do this. If something feels forced or unnatural – you probably shouldn’t be doing it because it’s probably not true to who you are. It’s that simple really. Just because I’m over here writing about my personal life and sharing our story – doesn’t mean that you need to be doing that too. And it doesn’t mean I’m being “more authentic” than you either. Your authentic self isn’t going to look like anyone else’s because we are all unique and different people. That’s what makes the world so awesome! So don’t buy into some false idea of who or what you should be. You are perfect exactly as you are!

Want to read more things I’ve written on authenticity? Check them out here and here.