You know, it didn’t dawn on me until I posted my Infertility and the Holidays blog post just before Christmas. But I’m realizing there is something I probably need to say…

~ I will always and forever support those struggling with infertility ~

I don’t know… maybe it doesn’t need to be said. But it occurred to me that I should tell you. I know that many of you started following because you were also on the road of infertility or you have struggled with it in the past or you know someone who is struggling with it. And part of me wonders if maybe there are people who feel a little abandoned since we were guided towards this new path. So I wanted to take the time to let you know that I’m still here…

The truth is – we are still infertile. Our pursuit of adoption has not suddenly changed our fertility status. Those heartaches that I’ve written about – they aren’t gone. I still feel the ache in my womb when I think about that fact that a child may never grow there. I still mourn that I won’t look at my child and see my eyes and Ryan’s nose… And I mourn that our child won’t look at us and see pieces of himself or herself too. And we are still enduring that hardship of waiting… In truth very little has changed really… our energy and focus has simply been redirected – away from fertility treatments and towards adoption.

I want you to know that I’m still going to share things that have helped or currently do help me get through those harder days. I have at least one more book post ready to share as soon as I have a free day on the calendar to post it. I still have so many posts I want to share about things like: what not to say, why adoption isn’t always the answer, & how to nurture yourself when you’re struggling. I’m still going to share our journey as we move forward on our path, and as always, I will continue to be open and honest about it.

I truly feel that God has put me on this path to help people through the heartache that is infertility, miscarriage, infant loss and adoption. It is because of my passion for those going through this journey that I, along with my dear friend Kayla, are starting a support group. This journey can feel very lonely and isolating, especially when you feel like you are the only one struggling. And it can be hard to know where to start or who to trust. My hope is to create a group that meets once a month, on the second Saturday of the month, where we can visit, share in a little devotional and just foster a community that supports each other through the highs and lows of this road. If you’re interested in joining us – we’ve created a facebook page at http://on.fb.me/1mfmcFC where we will share updates and stay in touch. We’d love to see you there!

I also want you to know that your journey is uniquely yours. You get to own that. You get to write that. Everyday you get to choose what your story will be. And it’s simultaneously thrilling and terrifying. It’s like being given a blank sheet of paper and an ink pen and being told to draw something. That blank paper is full of possibilities! There is so much you can do and so many different directions you can go! But each mark you make is your decision and brings you a step closer to your final masterpiece. I can’t tell you what the right decision is for you or your family. Just like no one could do that for me or my family.

The path Ryan and I are taking, is uniquely our own. Truthfully, I could not have told you where God was leading us. This was not part of our plan. But I’ve never felt more peace than I have when I finally let go, got out of God’s way, and let Him guide my decisions. Do I still have days that are hard? Yes! Absolutely! Frequently! Do pregnancy announcements still hurt? Yup! They do. Do I have doubts? Do I dread baby showers? Do people still say hurtful things? yes, yes, and yes. But I know where God wants us and I know where we’re headed now and there’s a comfort that comes from that which I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

I got a little ramble-y there, but my point is that I’m still here for you. And I still have things coming that will hopefully help and encourage. Ultimately, I believe that we are stronger together, supporting one another through all the highs and lows and I’m going to do my best to keep creating a space here where we can do just that! Sending each of you lots of love today… and everyday!