I’ve always been really good about acknowledging how hard Mother’s Day is for the woman in waiting. But only last year did I acknowledge the heartache that can be Father’s Day for the men who are waiting too. Our society often puts the focus of infertility solely on the woman and it’s effect on her emotionally, physically, and mentally. I believe that this happens because society has created false images of men and women. It’s portrayed women as needing a man, needing marriage, needing to become a mother in order to be fulfilled. And it portrays men as resisting commitment, being successful career men, and being somewhat detached emotionally. These portrayals are far from true. There are plenty of men out there who want nothing more than to be husbands and fathers, who feel that same pain at their infertility.

The sad thing is… men are trained to not talk about this. They convince themselves that it’s worse on their wives so they shouldn’t complain. They hide their feelings and their pain… and some push it so far aside that they don’t even realize the pain they are in.

If you are a man who has wanted children and still finds yourself waiting… I want you to know that your heartache does not make you weak or less of a man. If anything – it makes you even more of one. It takes great courage and bravery to admit you are hurting. It takes great strength to walk this hard road, not knowing what lies ahead, not knowing if there will be a happy ending. It takes great sacrifice to set aside your hurt to be the rock for your wife.

So today – to you I say – I see you! You are so very not alone! There are more men standing beside you than you know. And as a wife of a brave man who waited… I thank you – I thank you for all you do for your wife and for your strength along the road. But please – don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Sometimes we wives need to see that too… it helps us feel less alone. Be brave warrior fathers in waiting… we are here with you!