If you read my post on Friday, you know how Mothers Day is always a bit bittersweet for me and full of a mixture of emotions. Well yesterday, though not my first Mothers Day, was an amazing experience for me and considering all of my posts lately about infertility and this holiday I figured I’d just go ahead and elaborate here.
Over the years I’ve attended many a Mothers Day service/mass. And it was always hard as there were so often special things dedicated to mothers and mothers were asked to stand and be acknowledged while I felt alone, seated, in my longing. But yesterday I experienced my people being recognized… seen… embraced. Our little family was included in a mothers day video for our church, and I was overjoyed that those who’ve lost babies or are waiting for babies were also included in this video. There were gifts for ALL women in recognition of the fact that all women take on maternal roles in some way. Multiple times before, during and at the end of the sermon, it was brought up that Mothers Day is a hard day for many. Infertility, loss and longing were brought up. The fact that some women are called to motherhood but are not yet mothers was mentioned. And the reminder of sensitivity on this day for those who’ve lost mothers or children or who have difficult relationships with mothers or children was discussed as well.
I honestly only hoped for a small mention in the video since I had reached out to them about that, but what I saw was above and beyond anything I imagined or ever experienced! And I’ll admit – I got emotional… I cried watching the video – even knowing what would be included. I teared up multiple times as my people were acknowledged as sensitivity was preached. And this made me realize… after years of being unseen… after years of feeling unheard and unimportant… I didn’t realize how much that actually hurt. I had become accustomed to it… hardened… You begin to expect hurtful words, going unheard, and being forgotten because that’s all you’ve known. But yesterday… when I finally experienced compassion a wave washed over me… I don’t know if it was joy or relief or peace or love… but it was a real and unexpected moment for me…
“Compassion means to actually feel for someone else, to take their pain on as your own. And you can’t truly feel compassion and not take action. Compassion without action is meaningless.” These were words from yesterday’s sermon (although only a SMALL part of it) and they held great meaning for me as I contemplated how special the day was. I’ll admit that decision to change churches had been really hard for me and I’ve been struggling with that decision. I did so much growing at our former church and we have many people I love there that I miss seeing on Sundays. But time and again God is showing me this is where we need to be. I’m so grateful to be somewhere where my people are seen, heard, and loved. I’m so grateful to have found compassionate people. I’m so grateful to have found a place where I can continue moving in the direction God is calling me.
Of course, I’m so grateful for this amazing little lady and her incredibly brave first mom who made me a mother! Those years of hurt and heartache were all worth it to get to be her mama and she’s so much better than I ever imagined my child would be! She’s so smart and strong and funny and sweet, and it’s an absolute privilege and joy watching her grow! The one thing I wanted on Mothers Day was some pictures with my baby girl, and she and her daddy helped make that possible. So here’s a peek at our mini Mothers Day shoot 🙂